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The Lenny Ages
Hello? Can you hear me? Well I'm writing this so you can see me..hehe.. Yeah nevermind scratch that! My name is Skylar, my parents, Alex and Elizabeth, are robots, hence, I am a robot too! Sites never let me on, because I'm a robot!! WOW!!! Racist!!! ' ' Jaime: Hi! I am Jamie! I am the blue creeper that asks all the obvious questions! ' ' Skylar: SHUT IT!!!!������ ' ' Anyways, I have a sister named Lenny, She looks NOTHING like me, her head, her head… Oh my god… IT’S A TV!!!! AN OLD TV FROM 1996!!!!! Her body was taken from the wife of a schizophrenic named Plankton who lives under the sea, inside of a bucket. On the screen is a face made from texting. You might have heard of Lenny, because she's a celebrity. She goes mad with power! We try to talk to her, but she says, “I NNEEED TO SEE ME FANZZZ!!!” Like, does that make sense? NO!!!! So, I'm going to document Lenny's Behavior. In order to show the world what Lenny is really like!!! AHGHHGHHGGHGH NOO!!! LENNY GET OUT!!!!!!! ' ' Day one: Ridin Dirty!!!! I was out on a car ride with a couple of friends. We were riding dirty! They should not catch us riding dirteh!! Dirty!!! Chamillionaire is my favourite song artist!!!! We were driving at about midnight when we saw a van, all black with “CHILLY CHILLY CHILLEH!!!!” written on it. Spooked, we took a pic, that’s when the van stopped, it stopped in front of us, so we could not drive further. The driver got out… LENNY!!!! Lenny the stupid sister was driving, to stop us from driving...what? ' ' Then the passenger got out, it was some naked fat guy wearing a chicken mask. Then more came out the back, they were Yo1! Noids. ' ' Jaime: What are Yo! Noids? Are they creppeh? (creepin like a creeper) ' ' Skylar: You know, those creepy men wearing rabbitt suits. the mascots sent out by Domino's Pizza, the people that deliver pizza, that has been poisoned. Yeah, me neither. ' ' One was wearing a green suit, the other one was wearing a red suit. ' ' Why are you here? The dumb Lenny asked, ' ' Me (the driver of our car) decided to flip her off. ' ' This is where crap got bad… ' ' Lenny Pulled out a Tool gun!! A gun that people use to make other people monstrosities! ' ' Jaime: Geronimo Pratt ' ' Skylar: What? ' ' The 2nd pulled out a red, fabric, thing to possibly choke us with. the 3rd pulled out a bag, and the 4th grabbed a syringe. Then Lenny, being the idiot she is, spoke. ' ' You will die for saying that!!! Say goodbye Skylar the Skip dip���� Lenny spoke in her surprisingly fluent and hot French accent. ' ' 4th pulled me out of the car. They put the bag on me. Then...my throat was slit… I had died…. But then my parents found me while they were searching for me, brought me back to our house, uploaded me into a computer while they got their parents, some stupid scientists, to rebuild my broken body. Lenny was grounded and had her phone taken away, but this caused something... annoying… ' ' Jaime: Wait? Why did your parents go out to search for you. ' ' Skylar: WHY DO YOU THINK?????!!!! ' ' Day two: Twitter twizlin twinkin twigs (???) ' ' She posted something to Twitter, saying.] ' ' My fans, my parents have taken my phone away because I slit my sister's throat, she's a robot! SHE CAN BE FIXED!!!! Anyways, my parents don't know that I have Nintendo 3DS image share! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!�������� ' ' then there's an image of her smiling. ' ' My parents found out, because she forgot our parents and I also had Twitter (LOL) and took her 3DS. ' ' Three whole hours later!!! WOW!!! ' ' I noticed her in the fridge, meant for the scientists. She was doing something, I wasn't sure. But she noticed me, and threw a 2 litre bottle of Mountain Derp at me! I went to my room and went on the computer, she just posted something 1.1 seconds ago. It was, ' ' I hacked the devices in the building, I made my parents block me. So they can't see my posts! They might have taken my 3DS, but I have…. Drum roll please….. DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUN AN LG SMART FRIDGE!!!!!!! ' ' I told my parents, and when she tried to get the scientist with a broken back some food from the fridge, my father came in. The conversation went like this ' ' (Alex) LET ME DO THIS!!! ' ' (Lenny) Why? ' ' (Alex) Because you used the fridge to go on Twitter ' ' (Lenny) HOLD UP!!! How do you know about that? I hacked the building and made you block me so you could not see my post! ' ' (Alex) But you didn't block your sister… ' ' (ME) ummmmm… ' ' (Lenny) “Death Stare” ' ' (Lenny) I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! ' ' she jumped up and tried to Ninja Kick Me, but luckily, a scientist just so happened to be there, and tazed her like a cop. ' ' Jaime: How? She is a robot. ' ' Skylar: ROBOT TASER! ARE YOU DUMB? ' ' Anyways, after that, she went inside of one of the chambers, and locked the door. ' ' Turns out she posted something on Twitter. ' ' “ This is my last resort, I'm using something to scientists made to talk to my fans, just look at it.” ' ' she used the offline WIP Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System monster in that chamber. ' ' Day three: Unfriended: Lenny's turn! ' ' ' ' Christmas break had just started. I was playing on my Nintendo Wii, I know it's outdated, but I thought I'd give it a try. Anyways, I kept getting notifications on Skype. apparently, my friends were chatting. I’m 14, and so are most of my friends, so this was normal teen behavior. I paused the level of New Super Mario Bros I was currently on, I went on to chat, and boom!! They wanted me to call, so I did, and everyone joined! We were talking about Lenny, how she was so stupid. I even told them about what happened! My friend, Waluigi, told us that Lenny had asked him out. We all… ' ' L a u g h e d ! ! ' ' Seriously, Waluigi hated her a lot, but Lenny had a crush on him… WHAT KIND OF LOGIC- sorry! I thought I was about to rant about Lenny for the nine thousandth time. at this point I remembered, I promised Jaime that I would add her to our next video chat, I saw someone that I did not know, the Username for the unknown person was “4447” Their profile picture was of my face!!! OMG!!! MY FACE!!! STALKER!!! STALKER!!!!!!!! CALL 9 1 FLIPPIN 1!!!! ' ' I backed out and told everyone about the unknown person, of course, we were all scared, like, 2spoopy4me level scared. That’s extremely rare BTW. This could have been a hacker, a person that somebody else from our group added, or something else. All right, did anyone add somebody with the username “4447”? I spoke out, expecting to get a positive answer from somebody. But everyone, just said no. This had to be a hacker of sorts. The so-called “ Hacker” finally went online, and finally spoke. “Why are you talking about me?” 4447 asked. “Why are you here?” My friend replied. For some time, we didn't get a response, the time was roughly 3 minutes with no reply. The reply from the hacker was a link, I clicked on it, And it brought me to a non-existent website, seriously, I had never heard of this website, the URL of the site was just “3284072394032730540enei48448n4o4p24”. The link doesn't work anymore, so you can't go to it. The post read. ' ' It's me!! Lenny!!!!! Stop talking about me!!!! Or I will end you again!!!! You keep getting me in trouble!! Now you are embarrassing me.. SHUT UP!!!! I might be at Sesame Street, chillin with Elmo, but that doesn't mean I can find my way home!!!!! SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!! ' ' Oh! Okay…. ' ' My computer crashed, I was brought with the dreaded, BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!!!!! ' ' OH NOES!!!!!! ' ' I called the scientists, as well as the same guy who gave the first two paragraphs of the worst book ever made a 10 out of 10, and Jaime, of course. They came faster than a cake leaving a diet program convention. Lenny entered the house, with the Clorox bottle!!! ' ' OH NOES!!!!! ' ' Clorox will kill me! All scientists restrained her! She couldn't move at all!!!! She freaking broke free!!! and went to the car, with Elmo as the getaway driver!! ' ' Day four: Project Graybear! Maxwell: Please, whoever you are, don't do this! ' ' Graybear: I must! Or I will die. You see, I have to kill. ' ' Maxwell: You have the ability of human intellect, this has never been achieved, and you want to use it to torture and kill people? ' ' Graybear: Human blood is what I run on! Human blood is what I yearn for! I am more than a Freddy Fazbear knock-off, I am G O D here, and you must obey me! I own you! I am you! Now shut up, and accept your fate. You pathetic little dummy ' ' Maxwell: You were made to be friendly, not to be a murderer. So you're the dummy!!! LEARN THAT!!! ' ' Graybear: AWWW YOU FRIGGIN FRIG, SHUT UP!!!! I don't follow my programming, there's a certain chip inside of me. That has me, hunting, hunting for blood. I'm like a vampire dummy!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!! ' ' Maxwell: No one who help create you added that chip! That chip is controlling you, HE added that chip, HE is the one responsible for this. Go for him, not me, you've already ripped my arm off. I am losing blood, please, just spare me. ' ' Graybear: It's not just the chip genius, I do not run on oil, I run on human blood.You idiots put that inside of me, THAT WAS A MISTAKE YOU GAS FACTORY!!!! People donate blood to me, but it's a very little amount. I NEED to kill people in order to stay alive! Don't get me wrong, I do not want to do this. But I have to, to be alive... I'm sorry... so so sorry…. NOT!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! TIME TO PERISH!!! PETHETIC ONE!!!! ' ' then a gunshot silenced the room. Graybear was mortified that he had to kill one of his creators. He wished that he did not run on human blood, he wanted to be a friend. Not somebody who kills. You’re probably wondering who “HE” is, well, I will tell you. This, “HE” guy was highly frowned upon around the office. This guy earned the name “HE” when he threatened to take everyone in the building, and turn them into GOATZ���� if they didn't let him add something. To Graybear. He add a red, clearly custom made computer chip, inside of Graybear’s artificial brain, this caused Graybear to be violent for the first few days before he calmed down. At this point, nobody dared to say his name, every time someone said his name, everyone who heard the person would shush him or her. So they just referred to him as “HE” from then on. until Graybear destroyed everything, in an effort to stay alive. That day, Graybear’s last victim, was Dr. Maxwell Schneider, the inventor of his human intellect. This sounds serious, and fake. But it's true!!! The creator of this supposed Graybear is Lenny Tacoheaf Yankovic- Wait... WHAT???? LENNY??? ' ' = OH NOES!!!!! = ' ' Lenny made a killing machine. We will all die!! We gotta go!! WE GOTTA SCRAM!!!! I am panicking!! I bet Lenny made Graybear to keel me and keel me and keel me and keel me!!!!!! I have an AK47 with me! I AM GONNA SHOOT UP THIS “GRAYBEAR” THING THAT LENNY MADE!!!! No matter how long it takes. I. will. kill. It. ' ' Day 5: EMails can save your life! YAAAA yeah Date Email Sent: I DIDN'T GET DAT INFO!!!! ' ' Email: Lennyisbest@Hotmail.com ' ' Subject: I AM HERE SKYLAR! ' ' Message: ' ' We are here! Who are we? GRAYBEAR AND I!!!������ I found ur blog. I am here to end u! WITH GRAYBEAR!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAA ' ' What? Lenny is here? She has GRAYBEAR!!!!! I hid inside of the ottoman. From under the fabric softness, I heard Lenny, playing the guitar, while screaming, ' ' sKyLaR YoU aRe GoNnA dIe!!!! ' ' Then I heard the voice, Graybear’s voice. ' ' FEE. FI. FO. FUM. SKYLAR!!! IMMA GONNA KEEL U AND KEEL U AND KEEL U AND KEEL U!!!!!!!!! ' ' I stayed silent, scared, they walked right past me. (STOOPID PEOPLE!!!) At this point I knew it was a better idea to run. Luckily, I was not caught, so I plugged myself into the master computer. Seriously, the computer screen is a Samsung Smart TV, plus all the other screens, yeah, this is a computer set alright. I watched in horror as they came in, and smashed my body to pieces, they tried to destroy the computer, but the scientists broke in, ' ' LENNY! YOUR PARENTS DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE!! NOT AFTER WHAT YOU DID!!! Dr. Doug (One of the scientists) yelled. ' ' and destroyed Lenny, as well as Graybear. All that was left of these dumbos were their heads. After that,they uploaded my body into a flipping potato, scraped Graybear’s remains, and uploaded Lenny into the computer, and shipped her off to the internet, where she will remain, forever. ' ' Update: ' ' I just found out Lenny became an internet meme after being shot off to the internet, now, the dummy scientists are going to upload her into the freakish Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System thing we have in one of our Chambers. I can't wait until she snaps and kills us all ' ' Update #2: ' ' She did exactly what I said, she's actively hunting me, because I survived. I I'm going to upload myself into the brain of a human named Mel, can't wait! ' ' Update #3 ' ' So I did, it feels weird, I'm covered in leather called “skin” I'm going to tear It Off. ' ' Update#4 So I did, this weird red liquid spewed everywhere and I passed out, the only remaining scientist, Dr. Doug, uploaded me into the computer, and shipped me off to a creep named Scott, Scott is going to put me in a video game called Sister Location!!! Goodbye Forever Friends!!!!! Category:For The Shadow Reader Category:Funnypasta Category:We need comments! 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